FOUR POTHOLES TO SIDESTEP WHEN DEALING WITH YOUR TEENAGER
Human
relationships are complex, though outwardly sometimes they appear simple. And
among all the others, you will agree that the relationship with your teenager
is probably the trickiest and needs constant attention to detail.
Often
the most sincere efforts on the part of the parents can be frustrating when
dealing with the teens simply because their hormones are in a carnival mood at
that age. This could translate into a widening gulf between expectations and
fulfillment-both ways.
While
it is difficult to put forward a magical, ‘one size fits all’ formula, this
article aims at alerting loving parents about certain potholes to avoid on the
relationship road. Like potholes on the road, these can cause damage to your
valuable equation with your beloved children.
· DO
NOT OBJECTIFY:
Your children are separate entities with
their own individuality. However much you love or adore them, they are not
objects or pets to be owned. Respect their unique identity in every dealing
with them.
Remember
Khalil Gibran’s beautiful lines in this regard.
“They come through you and not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
· DO
NOT SNOOP:
This is a tricky one because parents are
sorely tempted to pry secretly into their teen’s affairs, often with compelling
reasons to do so. But it could be disastrous for the relationship and for the
teen’s trust in you. If there are unavoidable reasons- like the teenager is
likely to land in trouble- then do so with great discretion.
· BEAT
NOT YOUR OWN DRUMS:
In desperate moments, when the teen is perceived to
be ‘ungrateful’ it is quite understandable for the harried parent to reel off
what all have been done for the ungrateful fellow!
NEVER
DO THIS!
In the first place, your intelligent teenager knows
as well as you do, that it is your bounden duty as a parent to do all those
great things. Secondly, constantly thrusting this home might end up making him
or her more resentful.
· NEVER
DO EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL:
I would rate this as the single most dangerous
pothole, of the four in this article. Trying to get them to do things...for
my sake…if you love me…blah blah blah may indeed serve the immediate
objective if done efficiently, but may alienate the teenager with equal
efficiency.
Obviously these are not the only factors in this
valuable but ‘thin ice’ relationship.
Nevertheless,
they too are important too, aren’t they?
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