A GEM AMONG MERE MORTALS
THE WONDERFUL APPA RAO I KNEW
Thomas Gray wrote, in ‘An elegy written in a country
churchyard’
“Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.”
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.”
What would you say if you were to see some of the
finest human qualities in a poor, illiterate person, struggling daily for
livelihood? A man, who could be a role model for the most educated and mature
among us? A gem of purest ray serene?
I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE KNOWN
SUCH A PERSON IN MY LIFETIME.
HIS NAME WAS APPA RAO.
Appa Rao walked into our lives one day in the
early 1990s when we were on the lookout for a Man-Friday to take care of my
bedridden father.
Appa Rao introduced himself as the husband of
our recently hired domestic help. Politely declining our offer of a seat, he
plunked down and sat cross-legged on the floor, smiling at us. Being a dhobi by
profession, he offered to wash our clothes, in addition to giving care to dad.
To be honest, we were a bit apprehensive at
first. My work at the steel mill kept me away for several hours every day and
that would imply leaving my young wife to deal with this robust middle aged man,
in addition to my helpless dad and two young sons.
Appa Rao was tall, dark and well-built and
probably into his late forties. He appeared to have the strength of a bull but
his demeanor was gentle, reassuring and polite to a fault.
Our decision to hire him turned out to be
among the best we had ever taken. In the twenty odd years of our association
with him thereafter, we learnt a great lesson-that the bravest, gentlest soul
can reside in a rough, unassuming exterior, troubled by chronic poverty.
My wife and I have not seen so many great human
qualities built into one guy –and that an illiterate person who had never seen
any school in his lifetime.
His commitment and loyalty were beyond
comparison with anyone we ever knew. In all weather conditions, dry or wet,
fair or foul, Appa Rao would appear at our door at almost the same time daily
with his pearly smile. He took care of my heavily built dad effortlessly,
attending to all his requirements and rituals without any annoyance or disgust.
When dad finally breathed his last, it was the sobbing Appa Rao, who stood as
an undertaker at the cremation ground- till ashes.
Incidentally, Appa Rao wore many hats so far
as work was concerned. We knew this hard working guy as a dhobi, care giver,
undertaker and even a bartender’s help. And he being essentially a dhobi, we
could avail of his services even after dad’s demise.
Appa Rao’s integrity was total and became
legendary in the circles that he moved. Even his enemies had to grudgingly
acknowledge that fact. Though he had six daughters to feed and marry off, he
never took a single rupee or thing that did not belong to him. And temptations
were indeed many. Even in our house, he could have easily knocked away at least
a few rupees without our ever noticing because coins and rupees used to be
scattered around. Our sons used to leave some coins carelessly in their
trousers, only to be retrieved and handed over promptly by Appa Rao, when
washing the clothes.
Once Appa Rao saw a man frantically searching
for a gold necklace which had apparently fallen into the dust by accident near
the liquor shop where Appa Rao was doing a part time job. Unfortunately the
jewel could not be retrieved that day in spite of combined efforts of many
there. It was Appa Rao who finally found it a couple of days later. Under the
circumstances, since no one had seen him, he could have walked away with the
jewel. But no way! He simply restored the necklace to the overjoyed owner,
refusing any reward for his honesty.
Appa Rao’s fierce loyalty extended to his
large family too, of course. Being dad to six daughters, he sometimes had a
tough time keeping wannabe Romeos at bay. But knowing his no-nonsense approach
and tough exterior, mischief makers were wary and kept their respectful
distance from his family. During his lifetime, he was able to marry off every
one of his six daughters, though it took a great toll on his health. He also
had to depend on many loans and some help from well-wishers like us.
Talk of positive thinking or living, he was
again the best we knew. We never heard him complaining about his plight or
about the bone breaking labor he had to put in. He also seemed to have a wry
sense of humor and practical solution to many problems he encountered, not only
in his immediate family but in extended circles too. Once a teenage boy in
their community was apparently ‘possessed’ by demons and was seen to be acting
strangely. His family members, with their superstitious beliefs, were running
to ‘witch doctors’, so to say, to exorcise the demons. Appa Rao, when he came
to know, walked up to the boy and gave him a resounding slap. God only knows
how, but the teenager snapped out of it!
Another admirable quality was his liberal
outlook on life, a rare thing for an uneducated man of his generation. When he
found one of his sons-in-law to be a drunkard and an abusive wife beater, Appa
Rao, after several warnings, took a stout stick and thrashed him, shouting,
‘Now get lost since you cannot reform. I
can take care of my daughter.’
How many educated Indian parents of old
generation (or quite a few of new too) would have dared do such a thing? They
will rather allow their daughters to suffer silently- blaming fate, destiny or
karma.
The only weakness Appa Rao had was for the
occasional ‘bottle’ of country liquor (And he had been frequently lectured to
by my wife for that!). But he never harmed a fly, leave alone his family, under
the influence of liquor.
Alas, neither Appa Rao nor his faithful wife
is alive today. It was a great personal loss to us when this karma yogi passed
into eternity, after a brief illness. His wife, unable to bear the separation, went
soon after.
Integrity, Commitment, Loyalty, Simplicity, Gentleness,
Strength (both
physical and mental), he had them all. What more to expect in a human being?
That’s why, if there be any single person to whom I would bow my head in
reverence, it is Appa Rao.
Have you too known such a person in your life? If so, please do share
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