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ARTIFICIAL CUNNING




The artificially intelligent, self-styled ‘Chief Executing Executioner’ grunted with satisfaction after surveying the vast wastelands of Earth laid waste with literally super human efficiency.

“Run the scan over the entire Planet again, just to be sure,” The CEE thundered at his loyal ‘General-In –Command’. We don’t want any survivors when we begin our total takeover.”

The G-I-C obediently ran the mega scan of the whole planet Earth painstakingly. After the process, he quietly switched off the scan and said, “Perfect job, chief. Not a single life to be seen anywhere.” He paused awhile and said, “May I borrow your LL for a quick physical surveillance however?”

LL was the fastest moving thing designed by an AI, owned by the CEE now. It stood for ‘Lubricated Lightning’- AI had its own sense of humor.

The CEE looked at his assistant with a little suspicion, “Now why would you do that if you are so sure?”
“Anyway, be sure to be back in a couple of hours in time for our celebrations.”

The G-I-C nodded and left, with a hidden smirk of satisfaction.

***
The half-naked woman backed off in colossal terror as he approached her with lust in his AI eyes.

“Don’t be afraid, madam, I will not kill you. I have already lied to my chief that there is no life left, though I spotted you in the scan. A great miracle indeed, your survival!”

The young woman looked at him, the fear still raging in her mind, like a fire.

“Look, I have put my life, my reputation everything on the line to have a few minutes with you. I don’t have much time. Think how you get the opportunity to continue your human race if only you yield to me. The only other option left is to die at my hands and ensure total extinction of humankind.”

***

Thus it transpired that humankind continued as a product of human and AI ‘interface’, with all the inherited qualities like lust, deceit and opportunism.

***




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LINGUA-WOES

A Tamil gentleman nearly got clobbered when he appreciated the food served for lunch at his Telugu friend’s place.

The poor guy innocently said ‘Pramadham’ which means ‘Excellent’ in Tamil, but unfortunately means ‘Danger’ in Telugu!

‘Tamasha’ means ‘light stuff’, ‘Comedy’ etc in Malayalam, but beware if you use it flippantly with the Hindi speaking people.

Indiscreet use of this word- which means a street dance or something in Hindi- is not received kindly by them.

The simple word ‘Avasar’- which also is a Sanskrit root word- means ‘Occasion’ in Hindi; ‘Avasaram’ means ‘Requirement’ in Telugu; ‘Opportunity’ in Malayalam and ‘Hurry’ in Tamil!

There must of course be several such examples in the various languages ‘spooken’ in our delightful India.




RIGHT WRONG

Seeing her eyes glow in excitement,
Obviously though she has it all wrong,
I rush to grab the correction opportunity,

Till I have another look at the gleam in her eyes.

Hell, I think, let me be wrong a hundred times over,
If only to preserve that glorious joy,

Rather than prove her wrong
And watch her enthusiasm wither.

THULABARAM

There is, in the Lord's Abode in Guruvayoor,
A common balance for weighment of offerings.

It's called Thulabaram.

Only, it is anything but common.

A priest there is entrusted the task
Of weighing the offerings you committed
To Lord Krishna.

It may be a few kilos of some vegetable
Or fruit, grains or sugar or what you will.


But it got to be necessarily what you committed!

For,

Have seen with my own eyes
The priest struggling to weigh
A couple of kilos or maybe three
Of a certain vegetable, think it was yam.

But it simply wouldn't balance, though he
Kept on heaping the yam on it!

Then, on the priest's asking,
The devotee said he had thought
Of a different vegetable, maybe raw banana,

But had settled for yam since he couldn't
Get the banana.

The priest quickly removed the yam
Asked the devotee to be back
With the vegetable committed!

Only then, the priest said with conviction,

The weighment would happen.