Obviously there are more than three principles to be followed for a happy and long lasting relationship with your partner. However, I thought it might be useful to share three which I believe will stand the test of time, meaning to say they will always be relevant.
The first of the three is the most well-known, as it is emphasized always by all the relationship gurus. In view of its supreme importance, I take the liberty of repeating yet again.
The absolute and total importance of this eternal relationship principle cannot be overstated-In fact, it is applicable to any relationship which has to last long and well.
Trust is vital not only in fidelity-related matters but also in everything that you share when living together. There would be such a wonderful ambience of real love and freedom if the partners held each other in esteem and total trust.
Even if the boat is rocked occasionally by serious doubts and suspicions, the clouds are to be immediately cleared by talking to one another, and never, I repeat, never by hearsay or rumors, however authentic the latter may sound. This one principle alone would go a long way in keeping your relationship on firm ground.
This takes me to the second eternal principle.
Here I mean specifically regular communication between life partners for the purpose of avoiding build-up of resentment in either or both of them due to various misunderstandings. It is not only trust issues which need to be discussed, but any action (or lack of it) by one of the partners which annoys the other, without the former even having a clue about it!
There can be any number of such issues with which the reader may be able to relate, but I will just give one example.
There was this guy who resented his wife wearing sleeveless blouses to functions like weddings. Now I am not going to issues of feminine freedom or rights-the discussion here is merely about prompt, proper communication. Now this resentful guy chose not to talk about this, though his wife was meek and obedient. He allowed his feelings to build up till one day, the dam of fury broke on seeing her wearing a blouse with a somewhat revealing neckline- She was totally taken aback by his rage when he sarcastically asked her to go out without any clothes on- The ensuing fight and tears can be well imagined by the reader.
The point here is not whether one ought to dictate to a spouse what and when to wear but to discuss quietly with the person on any subject which is annoying-till an understanding is reached.
Space in this context is mainly emotional space. Over- attachment and possessiveness sometimes don the mask of love and try to crowd out all other forms of affection from the object’s mind. There cannot be a greater recipe for a relationship derailment than this.
Any person has obviously many roles in life-and hence many attachments. If anyone tries to grab and own the entire emotional arena of the partner, it can result in resentments and anger.
True love is about understanding the partner’s roles in life and according due respect and support for the same.