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AS ‘LUCK’ WOULD HAVE IT.


“Did you pray?” asked dad, when Ramesh was getting ready for the interview. He had applied for an accountant’s position in a private firm.

“Yes dad, now let me hurry, it’s getting late,” said Ramesh, and got down from the lift of his multi story apartment and paused for a second below his apartment block to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. 

He was wearing black pants and a bright white shirt, neatly pressed for this special occasion.

Unknown to him, in another flat in the same complex, ‘House warming’ ceremony had just taken place. A reluctant cow had been brought all the way to the fourth floor, as it is considered auspicious.

The function just completed, some nearby residents wanted the cow dung in the corridor to be disposed off immediately, brooking no delay. The harried maid who had been working since early hours thought it fit to just fling it down, exactly where Ramesh was standing that time.

 Thus it was that the enraged Ramesh got a cowdung splotch on his white shirt front. Since it was already late, he thought it prudent to inform his interviewers of his predicament and buy some time.

Meanwhile, the M.D of the recruiting firm, who was personally interviewing the candidates was getting frustrated that no candidate so far was matching his expectations. A great believer in auspicious signs and times, he wanted to see some auspicious sign while recruiting for such a key post.

“Sir”, said his secretary, “A candidate called Ramesh just called...he said he got delayed a bit...”

“What’s the use of a guy who can’t arrive punctually even for his interview?” thundered the boss.

“Sir, it appears that cow dung fell on his dress accidentally when he had just started….”

“What! Cow dung on his dress! Sooooo auspicious!!!” said the M.D and added, “Call him and tell him he is recruited,”

“But sir…” started the secretary.

“No buts, just do as I say,” said the M.D

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Relations of all hues- in dozens-living as a disjointed joint family, of which he was supposedly the head.
Huge quantity of valuables, including cash and jewellery-which he found hard to safe guard from the greedy cockroaches calling themselves his relatives. Try as he might, he could not dislodge a single one among these detested people for fear of offending either a brother, a sister, mother or his wife.
He tried hiding the stash at different places in his ancient thirty-two roomed bungalow and changing places every few days… but was shit scared that someone or other would find out.
Thus, among plenty of other things, he had plenty of angst also.
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(UN)GAINFUL RAIN

Ah! It’s started to beautifully rain, So it’s time for me to feign, An infection, cold or any pain, A day off, with sympathy to gain.
But alas! spousey says, ‘Off to work! You lazy, cunning little jerk, Calling in sick to watch buxom ladies twerk, Watching your lusty channels, with a daylong smirk.’
But when she says, ‘If you still be insisting, I will rope you in for housekeeping,' I look out, sigh, ‘The rain, it seems, has stopped, My leave plan for today is hence dropped.’





THE PAINTED VASE

Returning home from work that day, the first thing that grabbed my attention was the painted vase sitting prettily on a side table in the hall.
“Mynah!” shouted I, addressing my eleven year old daughter, “How did this come here?”
“Som bought it for me,” said she, quite simply, leaving me dumbfounded.
“Som!”
“But you hate him!” I said, referring to my new boyfriend whom she detested.
Som had come into my life recently, two years after Mynah’s dad died in a freak accident. He was only 40 then- I was 38.
Mynah shrugged and said, “But he likes me, it appears. That’s why he got it when I told him you refused to get it for me.”
I was left still wondering at the turn of events as her tantrums on seeing him were still fresh in my memory.
Two days later, Som came home during the weekend. He too merely shrugged when I complimented him on winning over Mynah. “Girls like things. You can keep them happy by indulging in these simple things.”
I really hope it stays that way, I thought, hoping to marry Som …