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BEWARE OF FLYING INNERWEAR!



Soman was happy. The young man was headed home for a brief holiday after a long time. As always, he was well dressed and took pride in his appearance. While walking home from the bus stop, he was day dreaming about how he would spend his valuable four days- the friends he was going to meet, the movies he would see and so on.

For reaching home, he had to walk by an apartment complex. A strong wind which was blowing that time dislodged a man’s underwear that was hung up for drying in the balcony of one of the apartments.

This piece of flying dress item landed securely on the unsuspecting Soman’s handsome shoulder. The young man who was blissfully unaware of the underwear which now adorned his shoulder, walked home merrily.

Meanwhile, Soman’s large joint family was agog with excitement at the prospect of his coming. Meena, the younger sister was teasing her kid brother saying how Somananna was always very well dressed, “…unlike you untidy chap, Varun!”

Soman’s grandma, his paatti-wheelchair bound, though delighted at Soman’s coming, was worried about that day’s star forecast which said she should beware of missiles. Though enemy missiles were quite far away to cause concern, nevertheless she worried.

“Here comes our brother, Somananna!” shouted Varun in joy and rushed to greet him. As Soman entered triumphantly like a war hero, Varun and Meena took a look at him and started rolling in laughter. “What is it?” asked Soman annoyed at the sudden loss of heroism.

“Is it the latest fashion, brother!” asked Varun, giggling helplessly.

“Do you always carry...er… a spare like this, like a scooter tyre?” asked Meena .

“What’s all the uproar about?” asked paatti,wheeling her chair to the entrance, at the exact instant that Soman discovered his shoulder wear and threw it in anger and disgust. The much thrown underwear now landed on paatti’s face, causing another uproarious session.

Meena was rolling on the ground in laughter squealing, “Paatti’s forecast about the missile hit has come true!”

Paatti, though initially flustered, laughed aloud and said, “Soman’s forecast is also fulfilled-it was written against his star that he would have to shoulder an unusual responsibility today.”

The Soman household was thus plunged in sunshine and laughter by his arrival.







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Govindan was facing the problem of plenty.
A very large ancestral house.
Relations of all hues- in dozens-living as a disjointed joint family, of which he was supposedly the head.
Huge quantity of valuables, including cash and jewellery-which he found hard to safe guard from the greedy cockroaches calling themselves his relatives. Try as he might, he could not dislodge a single one among these detested people for fear of offending either a brother, a sister, mother or his wife.
He tried hiding the stash at different places in his ancient thirty-two roomed bungalow and changing places every few days… but was shit scared that someone or other would find out.
Thus, among plenty of other things, he had plenty of angst also.
One day, Govindan got a flashy idea after watching a Malayalam movie about a haunted room in a large house like his.

(UN)GAINFUL RAIN

Ah! It’s started to beautifully rain, So it’s time for me to feign, An infection, cold or any pain, A day off, with sympathy to gain.
But alas! spousey says, ‘Off to work! You lazy, cunning little jerk, Calling in sick to watch buxom ladies twerk, Watching your lusty channels, with a daylong smirk.’
But when she says, ‘If you still be insisting, I will rope you in for housekeeping,' I look out, sigh, ‘The rain, it seems, has stopped, My leave plan for today is hence dropped.’





THE PAINTED VASE

Returning home from work that day, the first thing that grabbed my attention was the painted vase sitting prettily on a side table in the hall.
“Mynah!” shouted I, addressing my eleven year old daughter, “How did this come here?”
“Som bought it for me,” said she, quite simply, leaving me dumbfounded.
“Som!”
“But you hate him!” I said, referring to my new boyfriend whom she detested.
Som had come into my life recently, two years after Mynah’s dad died in a freak accident. He was only 40 then- I was 38.
Mynah shrugged and said, “But he likes me, it appears. That’s why he got it when I told him you refused to get it for me.”
I was left still wondering at the turn of events as her tantrums on seeing him were still fresh in my memory.
Two days later, Som came home during the weekend. He too merely shrugged when I complimented him on winning over Mynah. “Girls like things. You can keep them happy by indulging in these simple things.”
I really hope it stays that way, I thought, hoping to marry Som …