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Sixteen cardinal rules for valuing a relationship-Part 3

In this third and last part, I would like to present six more rules for a healthy relationship, making it sixteen in total.

11.THINK TWICE BEFORE CONFIDING A SECRET.

I would rate this as a very important rule to maintain the health of any valued relationship. We tend to take our near and dear into confidence when we are on very cordial terms.

Nothing wrong in this.

But if there is an unsavory or juicy aspect to the secret, just think again before making this person your confidant. If, unfortunately, some misunderstanding creeps in ,you might then regret telling the secret to them. Also, by expecting them to hold on to this secret, you are unnecessarily putting a strain on the relationship.  

12.NEVER OVERSTAY WHILE VISITING; MAKE IT SHORT AND SWEET.

‘The magic of the minimum dose’ as they say in Homeopathy is to be applied while visiting people. In my personal experience, I have seen the relevance of this simple rule.

When you visit and overstay your welcome, the stock value of the relationship dips. Social niceties prevent most people from expressing their concern aloud, but it is always good to watch for signs of impatience or unease. Better still, always make your social visits short and sweet.

13.WATCH ALWAYS FOR REACTIONS WHILE DISCUSSING ANY SUBJECT.

As they say, the face is the index of the mind. More often than not, a person’s feelings get registered on his or her face, until they realize this and quickly put on a mask.

This certainly makes it easy, doesn’t it, to gauge the effect our words have on the other party? It only needs a little awareness and what you could call emotional intelligence, or EI.

14.FLAUNT NOT YOUR POSSESSIONS,RANT NOT ABOUT YOUR GREATNESS.

The average person (That is to say... majority of people, including me) is interested more in self, whether he/she admits it or not. Also, there is a feeling called envy to contend with. Unless this very human trait is respected, we are in for big trouble in almost all our relationships.

So, no harm in making them a little ‘acquainted’ with your accomplishments or special possessions, but then please follow rule 13 above while doing so!

A wonderful idea would be to listen to them instead, at least for a bit.

15.AVOID CONTROVERSIAL ARGUMENTS UNLESS THEY HAVE A PURPOSE.

We don’t see eye to eye on all issues even with our parents, children or other very close people. So little wonder if you have differences with others.

It is very easy for a casual discussion to turn hostile when such a topic surfaces. While it is perfectly within your rights to express your point of view, there is no purpose generally served by an acrimonious debate on that, knowing well that each will stand his ground.

16.REACH OUT TO HELP WHEN THEY BE IN DISTRESS.

Of course we do this, I know. But this is so important that it can be a make or break issue in any relationship.

You need to be there for offering requisite assistance if called for.


Makes all the difference.

You are requested to give your valuable opinions on these rules of a healthy relationship. If some point is irrelevant, you may kindly say so, to enable improving upon my article. Also, any point if missed, may be please mentioned.

Thank you for your time.

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LINGUA-WOES

A Tamil gentleman nearly got clobbered when he appreciated the food served for lunch at his Telugu friend’s place.

The poor guy innocently said ‘Pramadham’ which means ‘Excellent’ in Tamil, but unfortunately means ‘Danger’ in Telugu!

‘Tamasha’ means ‘light stuff’, ‘Comedy’ etc in Malayalam, but beware if you use it flippantly with the Hindi speaking people.

Indiscreet use of this word- which means a street dance or something in Hindi- is not received kindly by them.

The simple word ‘Avasar’- which also is a Sanskrit root word- means ‘Occasion’ in Hindi; ‘Avasaram’ means ‘Requirement’ in Telugu; ‘Opportunity’ in Malayalam and ‘Hurry’ in Tamil!

There must of course be several such examples in the various languages ‘spooken’ in our delightful India.




RIGHT WRONG

Seeing her eyes glow in excitement,
Obviously though she has it all wrong,
I rush to grab the correction opportunity,

Till I have another look at the gleam in her eyes.

Hell, I think, let me be wrong a hundred times over,
If only to preserve that glorious joy,

Rather than prove her wrong
And watch her enthusiasm wither.

THULABARAM

There is, in the Lord's Abode in Guruvayoor,
A common balance for weighment of offerings.

It's called Thulabaram.

Only, it is anything but common.

A priest there is entrusted the task
Of weighing the offerings you committed
To Lord Krishna.

It may be a few kilos of some vegetable
Or fruit, grains or sugar or what you will.


But it got to be necessarily what you committed!

For,

Have seen with my own eyes
The priest struggling to weigh
A couple of kilos or maybe three
Of a certain vegetable, think it was yam.

But it simply wouldn't balance, though he
Kept on heaping the yam on it!

Then, on the priest's asking,
The devotee said he had thought
Of a different vegetable, maybe raw banana,

But had settled for yam since he couldn't
Get the banana.

The priest quickly removed the yam
Asked the devotee to be back
With the vegetable committed!

Only then, the priest said with conviction,

The weighment would happen.