Skip to main content

SIXTEEN CARDINAL RULES FOR ACCORDING VALUE TO ANY RELATIONSHIP-PART 2

Out of sixteen cardinal rules for demonstrating value for any relationship, I discussed six in my last post, which was part-1 of this article. With your kind permission, may I now present the next four rules as part-2 of this article.

Again, I would gently remind the readers that by relationship, I mean any kind, not only the romantic variety.

7. CRITICIZE NOT PERSONS DEAR TO THEM.

You may worship your maternal aunt, but detest her husband, your uncle. There might be a dozen reasons for this, but the rule to be kept in mind here is to maintain a stoic silence about it. Quite possibly, you may not be able to enjoy your aunt’s company exclusively without the detested guy barging in. But it is just one of the facts of life faced by almost everyone in relationships.

If you try to cozy up to one avoiding the other, it is going to become obvious to the concerned people quite soon. This is going to strain your valued relationship with the aunty. It can get much worse much faster if you express your dislike of this uncle.

8.GIFT THEM SOMETHING THEY LOVE.

No doubt, your first thought is ‘What’s so great about this point?’
It is not always as easy as it appears. If you read again carefully, I said ‘Gift them something they love.’

Now if you pause awhile to analyze the type of gifts you have been receiving on various occasions, you will realize the importance of this point.

Most gifts are given by way of just a social gesture and not with application of any serious forethought. I said most because there are exceptions where the gift giver applies her mind awhile to see what would be most useful and liked by the recipient. Others just see whether the gift is appropriate to the occasion.

So, if you value this relation, wouldn’t you agree that you should do a little thinking and gift them something they would love to have.

 9.LIKE THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Now this one is so obviously easy and doesn’t really need elaboration. If your people are on any social media, they would really appreciate a simple recognition on their timeline.

10.NEVER GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE.

Our nature is such that we try to give quick fix solutions to the problems posed to us by people close to us, with the best of intentions. Sadly, we don’t realize that more often than not, the person is just looking for a shoulder to cry on. What we offer as solutions are, except in rare cases, very common sense solutions, like ‘Take her to a specialist… get a second opinion…’and so on.

The downside of such uncalled for advice- if pursued too vigorously-is that friction is likely to develop, especially when the advice is unheeded or ignored. The other party also might start nursing resentment over this unwarranted intrusion.
Hence, it is always prudent to ask first whether any kind of help is required.




Popular posts from this blog

THE LOCKED ROOM

Govindan was facing the problem of plenty.
A very large ancestral house.
Relations of all hues- in dozens-living as a disjointed joint family, of which he was supposedly the head.
Huge quantity of valuables, including cash and jewellery-which he found hard to safe guard from the greedy cockroaches calling themselves his relatives. Try as he might, he could not dislodge a single one among these detested people for fear of offending either a brother, a sister, mother or his wife.
He tried hiding the stash at different places in his ancient thirty-two roomed bungalow and changing places every few days… but was shit scared that someone or other would find out.
Thus, among plenty of other things, he had plenty of angst also.
One day, Govindan got a flashy idea after watching a Malayalam movie about a haunted room in a large house like his.

(UN)GAINFUL RAIN

Ah! It’s started to beautifully rain, So it’s time for me to feign, An infection, cold or any pain, A day off, with sympathy to gain.
But alas! spousey says, ‘Off to work! You lazy, cunning little jerk, Calling in sick to watch buxom ladies twerk, Watching your lusty channels, with a daylong smirk.’
But when she says, ‘If you still be insisting, I will rope you in for housekeeping,' I look out, sigh, ‘The rain, it seems, has stopped, My leave plan for today is hence dropped.’





COWS AND LADDERS.

Renu woke up in a cold sweat on hearing the alarm. She was thankful that her nightmare had been disrupted by the faithful alarm. She had been dreaming that a snakes and ladders game was going on in which she was the coin moving up the ladder, and sliding down a cow instead of a snake.
Hearing some commotion outside her fourth floor apartment, Renu idly opened the door to have a look. There seemed to be some house warming ceremony in progress in an apartment on the same floor. Loud mantras were being hurled by energetic purohits to discourage bad spirits and drive away ghosts. Suppressing a yawn, Renu was about to close the door to start her daily routine when she saw her in the yet dim sunlight- a healthy well built cow.
It seemed to be Renu’s day for cows. She had been sliding up and down a cow in the nightmare and now here was another one in flesh and blood, brought obviously for the housewarming.
She looked at the cow with trepidation. The cow also glared right back. The poor animal …