Skip to main content

SIXTEEN CARDINAL RULES FOR ACCORDING VALUE TO ANY RELATIONSHIP-PART 2

Out of sixteen cardinal rules for demonstrating value for any relationship, I discussed six in my last post, which was part-1 of this article. With your kind permission, may I now present the next four rules as part-2 of this article.

Again, I would gently remind the readers that by relationship, I mean any kind, not only the romantic variety.

7. CRITICIZE NOT PERSONS DEAR TO THEM.

You may worship your maternal aunt, but detest her husband, your uncle. There might be a dozen reasons for this, but the rule to be kept in mind here is to maintain a stoic silence about it. Quite possibly, you may not be able to enjoy your aunt’s company exclusively without the detested guy barging in. But it is just one of the facts of life faced by almost everyone in relationships.

If you try to cozy up to one avoiding the other, it is going to become obvious to the concerned people quite soon. This is going to strain your valued relationship with the aunty. It can get much worse much faster if you express your dislike of this uncle.

8.GIFT THEM SOMETHING THEY LOVE.

No doubt, your first thought is ‘What’s so great about this point?’
It is not always as easy as it appears. If you read again carefully, I said ‘Gift them something they love.’

Now if you pause awhile to analyze the type of gifts you have been receiving on various occasions, you will realize the importance of this point.

Most gifts are given by way of just a social gesture and not with application of any serious forethought. I said most because there are exceptions where the gift giver applies her mind awhile to see what would be most useful and liked by the recipient. Others just see whether the gift is appropriate to the occasion.

So, if you value this relation, wouldn’t you agree that you should do a little thinking and gift them something they would love to have.

 9.LIKE THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Now this one is so obviously easy and doesn’t really need elaboration. If your people are on any social media, they would really appreciate a simple recognition on their timeline.

10.NEVER GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE.

Our nature is such that we try to give quick fix solutions to the problems posed to us by people close to us, with the best of intentions. Sadly, we don’t realize that more often than not, the person is just looking for a shoulder to cry on. What we offer as solutions are, except in rare cases, very common sense solutions, like ‘Take her to a specialist… get a second opinion…’and so on.

The downside of such uncalled for advice- if pursued too vigorously-is that friction is likely to develop, especially when the advice is unheeded or ignored. The other party also might start nursing resentment over this unwarranted intrusion.
Hence, it is always prudent to ask first whether any kind of help is required.




Popular posts from this blog

LORD KING KRISHNA AND CHILDHOOD FRIEND SUDAMA

Dear friends, time it is now to hearken to the heartwarming tale of Sudama, Who had for his childhood and bosom friend none other than Lord Krishna. But while the little Krishna became King of Dwaraka, as ordained by destiny, Sudama, the poor Brahmin lived nearby with his family in abject poverty.
It never once occurred to Sudama to approach for help Krishna the king, But when his children starved, his wife goaded him to ask for something. Thus it was that Sudama ventured to meet his dear friend Krishna, Carrying with him only a rag- wrapped gift of rice Poha!
When the all-knowing king Krishna knew his friend was at his palace gate, He came running barefoot to greet him, leaving beholders in amazement agape. Embracing his dear school friend, he, with the queen took him inside and made him rest, Washing his feet and showering him with love, they made Sudama feel like a privileged guest. Recalling happily their younger days, the two friends forgot the passage of time, Reluctant to seek favours, Suda…

HOW LORD SHIVA BECAME NILAKANTA

Time was when the Gods themselves teamed up with their foes, the demons In order to get the nectar of Immortality by churning the cosmic oceans. But alas! Before they could get the much desired nectar Amrita, The ocean churned out the deadly poison called halahalakalakuta.
Seeing the danger to His Creation in the whole Universe, Lord Brahma the Creator requested help from Lord Shiva- all in tears. Then it was that the Almighty Shiva swallowed the deadly kalakuta, And retaining the poison in his throat became Blue- Throated Nilakanta.
Irrespective of whether this is legend or fable, One thing is for sure; It is a great parable. That God himself aids the faithful in the Spiritual path to arise By helping them to clean up their every material vice.

REF:http://shivadarshana.blogspot.in/2008/04/legend-of-nilakantha.htmlSABARI

THE REMARKABLE Dr. VIKTOR.E.FRANKL

THE FOUNDER OF LOGOTHERAPY

Many know him as the founder of the third Vienna school of Psychotherapy-‘Logotherapy’- first being that of Sigmund Freud and second that of Alfred Adler.
Logotherapy is a kind of existential analysis based on having a purpose or meaning in life. Frankl developed this new philosophy of therapy based on his own and others’ terrible experiences as Jewish prisoners in Hitler’s concentration camps. The therapy also supports Nietzsche’s theory that ‘He who has a why can endure any how’.
Born in 1905 in Vienna, middle among three children, Frankl evinced a lot of interest in Psychology and did his medical studies in this field. He met the iconic Freud and had a lot of interaction with him, though he liked Adler’s theory better. He worked in various capacities in Vienna in the years before Hitler, and even was in charge of a psychiatric ward for suicidal women.
In 1940, when Dr Frankl was the head of the neurological department in Rothschild, a Jewish hospital, he disp…