Skip to main content

SIXTEEN CARDINAL RULES FOR ACCORDING VALUE TO ANY RELATIONSHIP-PART 1



Relationships are everything in life.Can you imagine a lonely, meaningless life without any human being to talk to or cosy up with?

Here, in this present context, I mean any human relationship and not just the romantic kind. But how do you show your appreciation, the value you attach to any such relationship, be it friend, lover, siblings or other relatives?

After studying this aspect deeply and putting some thought into it, I have concluded the following to be the most important ways to show your people that you care about them. The study may not be adequate or may not find full acceptance among you. I would be delighted to receive your views on this extremely important topic in human relationships.

1.    LISTEN TOTALLY:

Of all the ways to show your concern for the person you care about, I think this should occupy pride of place. Often, we half heartedly listen to people when they talk to us when we are watching TV, or doing something on smart phone, computer and so on.

Total listening implies switching off that gadget and giving undivided attention. It also implies rephrasing some sentences by way of emphasizing.

Total listening also means not interrupting (except to clarify some point) and not judging.  

2.    CALL THEM IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER THEY DO OR NOT.

This is often difficult to follow, I admit, especially when we have been always the ones to call. My natural tendency would be to wonder why I should take the initiative always. However, I would hasten to add that if that person matters to you, then just call.

3.    REMEMBER DATES DEAR TO THEM.

No need to elaborate on this, of course. Dates can include birthdays, anniversaries and any other dates dear to them. You can take the help of your smart phone for remembering.

4.    BE TRUSTWORTHY AS A ROCK ON SHARED SECRETS.

A friend or close relative might quite often divulge secrets and then sometimes regret having done so, because it has sensitive or juicy gossip about a common friend. Having spilled it, they may now beseech you to take it no further.

This is where you have to assure such persons of your rock hard dependability and that the matter would travel no further.

Once your loved ones are convinced of your staunch reliability, they will consider you as a real confidante-a shoulder to cry on.

5.    NEVER MAKE CRITICAL PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.

Granted, your motives are noble, but still desist!

Most of the time, there will be nothing new in what you are planning to say- about being fat or thin, or whatever.

They will be more comfortable with you if you do not offer unsolicited remarks/advice.

6.     SQUEAL NOT ON THEM.

This is similar to point 4 above.

In this case, I am talking about any juicy secrets pertaining to the person himself/herself in question which you may be in a vantage position to know. Loyalty demands that you maintain dignified silence even if some curious cats try to prod the unsavory details out of you, in the guise of friendship.

If you establish such a reputation, then even a mischief monger will be unable to convince your friend that you were the source of the leak.


There are several other points I would like to discuss with you on this subject in part 2 and 3 of this post.

In the meantime, I would request you to offer your valued views on this post.




Popular posts from this blog

LORD KING KRISHNA AND CHILDHOOD FRIEND SUDAMA

Dear friends, time it is now to hearken to the heartwarming tale of Sudama, Who had for his childhood and bosom friend none other than Lord Krishna. But while the little Krishna became King of Dwaraka, as ordained by destiny, Sudama, the poor Brahmin lived nearby with his family in abject poverty.
It never once occurred to Sudama to approach for help Krishna the king, But when his children starved, his wife goaded him to ask for something. Thus it was that Sudama ventured to meet his dear friend Krishna, Carrying with him only a rag- wrapped gift of rice Poha!
When the all-knowing king Krishna knew his friend was at his palace gate, He came running barefoot to greet him, leaving beholders in amazement agape. Embracing his dear school friend, he, with the queen took him inside and made him rest, Washing his feet and showering him with love, they made Sudama feel like a privileged guest. Recalling happily their younger days, the two friends forgot the passage of time, Reluctant to seek favours, Suda…

HOW LORD SHIVA BECAME NILAKANTA

Time was when the Gods themselves teamed up with their foes, the demons In order to get the nectar of Immortality by churning the cosmic oceans. But alas! Before they could get the much desired nectar Amrita, The ocean churned out the deadly poison called halahalakalakuta.
Seeing the danger to His Creation in the whole Universe, Lord Brahma the Creator requested help from Lord Shiva- all in tears. Then it was that the Almighty Shiva swallowed the deadly kalakuta, And retaining the poison in his throat became Blue- Throated Nilakanta.
Irrespective of whether this is legend or fable, One thing is for sure; It is a great parable. That God himself aids the faithful in the Spiritual path to arise By helping them to clean up their every material vice.

REF:http://shivadarshana.blogspot.in/2008/04/legend-of-nilakantha.htmlSABARI

THE REMARKABLE Dr. VIKTOR.E.FRANKL

THE FOUNDER OF LOGOTHERAPY

Many know him as the founder of the third Vienna school of Psychotherapy-‘Logotherapy’- first being that of Sigmund Freud and second that of Alfred Adler.
Logotherapy is a kind of existential analysis based on having a purpose or meaning in life. Frankl developed this new philosophy of therapy based on his own and others’ terrible experiences as Jewish prisoners in Hitler’s concentration camps. The therapy also supports Nietzsche’s theory that ‘He who has a why can endure any how’.
Born in 1905 in Vienna, middle among three children, Frankl evinced a lot of interest in Psychology and did his medical studies in this field. He met the iconic Freud and had a lot of interaction with him, though he liked Adler’s theory better. He worked in various capacities in Vienna in the years before Hitler, and even was in charge of a psychiatric ward for suicidal women.
In 1940, when Dr Frankl was the head of the neurological department in Rothschild, a Jewish hospital, he disp…