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SIXTEEN CARDINAL RULES FOR ACCORDING VALUE TO ANY RELATIONSHIP-PART 1



Relationships are everything in life.Can you imagine a lonely, meaningless life without any human being to talk to or cosy up with?

Here, in this present context, I mean any human relationship and not just the romantic kind. But how do you show your appreciation, the value you attach to any such relationship, be it friend, lover, siblings or other relatives?

After studying this aspect deeply and putting some thought into it, I have concluded the following to be the most important ways to show your people that you care about them. The study may not be adequate or may not find full acceptance among you. I would be delighted to receive your views on this extremely important topic in human relationships.

1.    LISTEN TOTALLY:

Of all the ways to show your concern for the person you care about, I think this should occupy pride of place. Often, we half heartedly listen to people when they talk to us when we are watching TV, or doing something on smart phone, computer and so on.

Total listening implies switching off that gadget and giving undivided attention. It also implies rephrasing some sentences by way of emphasizing.

Total listening also means not interrupting (except to clarify some point) and not judging.  

2.    CALL THEM IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER THEY DO OR NOT.

This is often difficult to follow, I admit, especially when we have been always the ones to call. My natural tendency would be to wonder why I should take the initiative always. However, I would hasten to add that if that person matters to you, then just call.

3.    REMEMBER DATES DEAR TO THEM.

No need to elaborate on this, of course. Dates can include birthdays, anniversaries and any other dates dear to them. You can take the help of your smart phone for remembering.

4.    BE TRUSTWORTHY AS A ROCK ON SHARED SECRETS.

A friend or close relative might quite often divulge secrets and then sometimes regret having done so, because it has sensitive or juicy gossip about a common friend. Having spilled it, they may now beseech you to take it no further.

This is where you have to assure such persons of your rock hard dependability and that the matter would travel no further.

Once your loved ones are convinced of your staunch reliability, they will consider you as a real confidante-a shoulder to cry on.

5.    NEVER MAKE CRITICAL PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.

Granted, your motives are noble, but still desist!

Most of the time, there will be nothing new in what you are planning to say- about being fat or thin, or whatever.

They will be more comfortable with you if you do not offer unsolicited remarks/advice.

6.     SQUEAL NOT ON THEM.

This is similar to point 4 above.

In this case, I am talking about any juicy secrets pertaining to the person himself/herself in question which you may be in a vantage position to know. Loyalty demands that you maintain dignified silence even if some curious cats try to prod the unsavory details out of you, in the guise of friendship.

If you establish such a reputation, then even a mischief monger will be unable to convince your friend that you were the source of the leak.


There are several other points I would like to discuss with you on this subject in part 2 and 3 of this post.

In the meantime, I would request you to offer your valued views on this post.




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