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SIXTEEN CARDINAL RULES FOR ACCORDING VALUE TO ANY RELATIONSHIP-PART 1



Relationships are everything in life.Can you imagine a lonely, meaningless life without any human being to talk to or cosy up with?

Here, in this present context, I mean any human relationship and not just the romantic kind. But how do you show your appreciation, the value you attach to any such relationship, be it friend, lover, siblings or other relatives?

After studying this aspect deeply and putting some thought into it, I have concluded the following to be the most important ways to show your people that you care about them. The study may not be adequate or may not find full acceptance among you. I would be delighted to receive your views on this extremely important topic in human relationships.

1.    LISTEN TOTALLY:

Of all the ways to show your concern for the person you care about, I think this should occupy pride of place. Often, we half heartedly listen to people when they talk to us when we are watching TV, or doing something on smart phone, computer and so on.

Total listening implies switching off that gadget and giving undivided attention. It also implies rephrasing some sentences by way of emphasizing.

Total listening also means not interrupting (except to clarify some point) and not judging.  

2.    CALL THEM IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER THEY DO OR NOT.

This is often difficult to follow, I admit, especially when we have been always the ones to call. My natural tendency would be to wonder why I should take the initiative always. However, I would hasten to add that if that person matters to you, then just call.

3.    REMEMBER DATES DEAR TO THEM.

No need to elaborate on this, of course. Dates can include birthdays, anniversaries and any other dates dear to them. You can take the help of your smart phone for remembering.

4.    BE TRUSTWORTHY AS A ROCK ON SHARED SECRETS.

A friend or close relative might quite often divulge secrets and then sometimes regret having done so, because it has sensitive or juicy gossip about a common friend. Having spilled it, they may now beseech you to take it no further.

This is where you have to assure such persons of your rock hard dependability and that the matter would travel no further.

Once your loved ones are convinced of your staunch reliability, they will consider you as a real confidante-a shoulder to cry on.

5.    NEVER MAKE CRITICAL PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.

Granted, your motives are noble, but still desist!

Most of the time, there will be nothing new in what you are planning to say- about being fat or thin, or whatever.

They will be more comfortable with you if you do not offer unsolicited remarks/advice.

6.     SQUEAL NOT ON THEM.

This is similar to point 4 above.

In this case, I am talking about any juicy secrets pertaining to the person himself/herself in question which you may be in a vantage position to know. Loyalty demands that you maintain dignified silence even if some curious cats try to prod the unsavory details out of you, in the guise of friendship.

If you establish such a reputation, then even a mischief monger will be unable to convince your friend that you were the source of the leak.


There are several other points I would like to discuss with you on this subject in part 2 and 3 of this post.

In the meantime, I would request you to offer your valued views on this post.




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A Tamil gentleman nearly got clobbered when he appreciated the food served for lunch at his Telugu friend’s place.

The poor guy innocently said ‘Pramadham’ which means ‘Excellent’ in Tamil, but unfortunately means ‘Danger’ in Telugu!

‘Tamasha’ means ‘light stuff’, ‘Comedy’ etc in Malayalam, but beware if you use it flippantly with the Hindi speaking people.

Indiscreet use of this word- which means a street dance or something in Hindi- is not received kindly by them.

The simple word ‘Avasar’- which also is a Sanskrit root word- means ‘Occasion’ in Hindi; ‘Avasaram’ means ‘Requirement’ in Telugu; ‘Opportunity’ in Malayalam and ‘Hurry’ in Tamil!

There must of course be several such examples in the various languages ‘spooken’ in our delightful India.




RIGHT WRONG

Seeing her eyes glow in excitement,
Obviously though she has it all wrong,
I rush to grab the correction opportunity,

Till I have another look at the gleam in her eyes.

Hell, I think, let me be wrong a hundred times over,
If only to preserve that glorious joy,

Rather than prove her wrong
And watch her enthusiasm wither.

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Lord Krishna is infinitely merciful.

He accepts your prayers whatever be your way, or whomsoever you worship. Like the waters of all rivers leading to the Ocean, all prayers flow to Him alone. ( Rig Veda)

He says that you may, if you can, fix your mind and intellect on him and be always in His contemplation. That is the path of Knowledge or Jnana Yoga.

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If you find the Yoga path cumbersome, you may resort to ritualistic worship as authorized by the sacred texts. This is the path of Karma Yoga. If your mind is not on rituals, you can take refuge in him, leading a self controlled life.

Then there is the Bhakti path, the path of total devotion and surrender to the Lord. Even here, the Lord says, you need not make elaborate offerings- A l…