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SIXTEEN CARDINAL RULES FOR ACCORDING VALUE TO ANY RELATIONSHIP-PART 1



Relationships are everything in life.Can you imagine a lonely, meaningless life without any human being to talk to or cosy up with?

Here, in this present context, I mean any human relationship and not just the romantic kind. But how do you show your appreciation, the value you attach to any such relationship, be it friend, lover, siblings or other relatives?

After studying this aspect deeply and putting some thought into it, I have concluded the following to be the most important ways to show your people that you care about them. The study may not be adequate or may not find full acceptance among you. I would be delighted to receive your views on this extremely important topic in human relationships.

1.    LISTEN TOTALLY:

Of all the ways to show your concern for the person you care about, I think this should occupy pride of place. Often, we half heartedly listen to people when they talk to us when we are watching TV, or doing something on smart phone, computer and so on.

Total listening implies switching off that gadget and giving undivided attention. It also implies rephrasing some sentences by way of emphasizing.

Total listening also means not interrupting (except to clarify some point) and not judging.  

2.    CALL THEM IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER THEY DO OR NOT.

This is often difficult to follow, I admit, especially when we have been always the ones to call. My natural tendency would be to wonder why I should take the initiative always. However, I would hasten to add that if that person matters to you, then just call.

3.    REMEMBER DATES DEAR TO THEM.

No need to elaborate on this, of course. Dates can include birthdays, anniversaries and any other dates dear to them. You can take the help of your smart phone for remembering.

4.    BE TRUSTWORTHY AS A ROCK ON SHARED SECRETS.

A friend or close relative might quite often divulge secrets and then sometimes regret having done so, because it has sensitive or juicy gossip about a common friend. Having spilled it, they may now beseech you to take it no further.

This is where you have to assure such persons of your rock hard dependability and that the matter would travel no further.

Once your loved ones are convinced of your staunch reliability, they will consider you as a real confidante-a shoulder to cry on.

5.    NEVER MAKE CRITICAL PERSONAL REMARKS ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.

Granted, your motives are noble, but still desist!

Most of the time, there will be nothing new in what you are planning to say- about being fat or thin, or whatever.

They will be more comfortable with you if you do not offer unsolicited remarks/advice.

6.     SQUEAL NOT ON THEM.

This is similar to point 4 above.

In this case, I am talking about any juicy secrets pertaining to the person himself/herself in question which you may be in a vantage position to know. Loyalty demands that you maintain dignified silence even if some curious cats try to prod the unsavory details out of you, in the guise of friendship.

If you establish such a reputation, then even a mischief monger will be unable to convince your friend that you were the source of the leak.


There are several other points I would like to discuss with you on this subject in part 2 and 3 of this post.

In the meantime, I would request you to offer your valued views on this post.




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Govindan was facing the problem of plenty.
A very large ancestral house.
Relations of all hues- in dozens-living as a disjointed joint family, of which he was supposedly the head.
Huge quantity of valuables, including cash and jewellery-which he found hard to safe guard from the greedy cockroaches calling themselves his relatives. Try as he might, he could not dislodge a single one among these detested people for fear of offending either a brother, a sister, mother or his wife.
He tried hiding the stash at different places in his ancient thirty-two roomed bungalow and changing places every few days… but was shit scared that someone or other would find out.
Thus, among plenty of other things, he had plenty of angst also.
One day, Govindan got a flashy idea after watching a Malayalam movie about a haunted room in a large house like his.

(UN)GAINFUL RAIN

Ah! It’s started to beautifully rain, So it’s time for me to feign, An infection, cold or any pain, A day off, with sympathy to gain.
But alas! spousey says, ‘Off to work! You lazy, cunning little jerk, Calling in sick to watch buxom ladies twerk, Watching your lusty channels, with a daylong smirk.’
But when she says, ‘If you still be insisting, I will rope you in for housekeeping,' I look out, sigh, ‘The rain, it seems, has stopped, My leave plan for today is hence dropped.’





THE PAINTED VASE

Returning home from work that day, the first thing that grabbed my attention was the painted vase sitting prettily on a side table in the hall.
“Mynah!” shouted I, addressing my eleven year old daughter, “How did this come here?”
“Som bought it for me,” said she, quite simply, leaving me dumbfounded.
“Som!”
“But you hate him!” I said, referring to my new boyfriend whom she detested.
Som had come into my life recently, two years after Mynah’s dad died in a freak accident. He was only 40 then- I was 38.
Mynah shrugged and said, “But he likes me, it appears. That’s why he got it when I told him you refused to get it for me.”
I was left still wondering at the turn of events as her tantrums on seeing him were still fresh in my memory.
Two days later, Som came home during the weekend. He too merely shrugged when I complimented him on winning over Mynah. “Girls like things. You can keep them happy by indulging in these simple things.”
I really hope it stays that way, I thought, hoping to marry Som …