Skip to main content

COWS AND LADDERS.



Renu woke up in a cold sweat on hearing the alarm. She was thankful that her nightmare had been disrupted by the faithful alarm. She had been dreaming that a snakes and ladders game was going on in which she was the coin moving up the ladder, and sliding down a cow instead of a snake.

Hearing some commotion outside her fourth floor apartment, Renu idly opened the door to have a look. There seemed to be some house warming ceremony in progress in an apartment on the same floor. Loud mantras were being hurled by energetic purohits to discourage bad spirits and drive away ghosts. Suppressing a yawn, Renu was about to close the door to start her daily routine when she saw her in the yet dim sunlight- a healthy well built cow.

It seemed to be Renu’s day for cows. She had been sliding up and down a cow in the nightmare and now here was another one in flesh and blood, brought obviously for the housewarming.

She looked at the cow with trepidation. The cow also glared right back. The poor animal had every reason to be upset, having been rudely awoken and dragged up four flights of stairs in the wee hours, but it was quite unreasonable to hold her responsible for its misery, thought Renu, unaware that the cow was seeing red in her flame colored maxi.  That was the last straw for the much harassed cow.
The cow was now scratching the ground with its forefeet, a cow’s battle-cry equivalent of the conch or trumpet, used by humans. Within seconds, before Renu could bolt back inside, she charged at full speed.

“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..,” shouted Renu as she took off at jet speed in the corridor, wondering even in this predicament how her flat feet could be so fleet footed. Though she had the initial advantage over the cow in the race, Renu found herself cornered when they reached the end of the corridor. As Renu looked for escape options, she could have sworn that there was a triumphant ‘got ya’ type of grin on the cow’s face. Then she spotted the elevator and pressed the button .But the moment the doors of the elevator opened, in rushed the cow, before Renu could react. As she gasped in horror, the doors slowly closed, with cow inside.

Even before Renu could recover from the shock and collect her wits about her, she saw a fat,silk sari clad woman approaching , obviously to the elevator. The sari was rich red in color.

The silk mami looked haughtily at the Renu. Her nose crinkled in contempt at the maxi clad Renu.This woman, who was probably on the way to a wedding was quite obviously pleased with her own rich appearance.

When Renu,still speechless in shock, tried to block her way, Silk sari asked impatiently, “What do you want?”

“k..kkk…kkkk!” said Renu, helplessly. “What do you mean, “kkkkkkk…. Now move out of my way!” said mami and pushed the button.

“Cow!” roared Renu finally and just had time to see Silk sari’s face which had reddened on being addressed as cow. But Renu, who knew what was coming , didn’t stay back for any more explanations. She fled from the scene, to avoid scenes of blood and gore and having taken shelter in her flat, watched the proceedings from a safe position.

“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!……..” shouted a now familiar voice as the silk sari lady ran at jet speed, past Renu’s flat, her precious sari now hitched up very unladylike. The cow, which had suffered the additional ignominy of being shut up in a mini chamber, was now in a very bad mood indeed.

But Renu couldn’t help admiring the fat lady. If Renu’s flat feet were fleet footed, so were Mami’s fat feet. She ran up and down the corridor, screaming at the top of her voice. The priests, who had just finished driving away the spirits were appalled that one was probably missed. Silk sari , however was giving the cow a run for its money and would probably have won all the rounds, but alas! She slipped and fell over some cow dung in the corridor. As she got up trying to salvage her pride and her precious sari, the owners of the apartment where the function was going on, came running to her rescue.

All ended well like in Holly and Bolly wood movies. The militant cow was whisked away, after its hurt feelings were assuaged. Silk sari mami,who had missed her wedding feast was invited to lunch by the house warmers ,(after washing and changing, of course). Renu got herself a new friend that day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A RUMMY TALE

As he lay there, wallowing in stale rum and self-pity, know not how long;
The red-eyed monster sprang up suddenly from the brimming liquor;
Gulping down a glass of liquid fire, he roared, “Now! Shoot her now!”
“She deserves no pity- who has let you down so badly.”

Drowning in rum, he attempted to raise his head,
Raising placatory hands to his personal devil,
“Now, now, let us not go there, so afar!
Remember, she used to be my cynosure till week last,
It’s just a pity that she was charmed by someone else.”

“Beware if you show any mercy to that unfaithful wretch!”
Growled the beast, spitting out shards of glass in disgust and adding,
“Be a man, take the sharpest knife and plunge it in her heartless heart.”

He cried out loud and pleaded with folded hands,
“No, no, can’t ever do that, please for Heaven’s sake, go away.”
“Then you leave me with no other option,” sighed the monster,
Stabbing him straight through the heart.

“Cardiac arrest due to excessive sorrow and stress”-
-declared t…

LOVELINESS

LOVELINESS

Loveliness is not all about physical beauty,
It is also
A smile shimmering through tear- stained eyes,
A widening grin ironing out an elder's wrinkles,
A mother's joy seeing her child eating well,
A couple embracing joyfully in reunion,
A calf jumping about in joy around mother cow,
And many more...

RIGHT WRONG

Seeing her eyes glow in excitement,
Obviously though she has it all wrong,
I rush to grab the correction opportunity,

Till I have another look at the gleam in her eyes.

Hell, I think, let me be wrong a hundred times over,
If only to preserve that glorious joy,

Rather than prove her wrong
And watch her enthusiasm wither.