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FOUR POTHOLES TO SIDESTEP WHEN DEALING WITH YOUR TEENAGER


pothole images ಗೆ ಚಿತ್ರದ ಫಲಿತಾಂಶ



Human relationships are complex, though outwardly sometimes they appear simple. And among all the others, you will agree that the relationship with your teenager is probably the trickiest and needs constant attention to detail.
Often the most sincere efforts on the part of the parents can be frustrating when dealing with the teens simply because their hormones are in a carnival mood at that age. This could translate into a widening gulf between expectations and fulfillment-both ways.
While it is difficult to put forward a magical, ‘one size fits all’ formula, this article aims at alerting loving parents about certain potholes to avoid on the relationship road. Like potholes on the road, these can cause damage to your valuable equation with your beloved children.
·       DO NOT OBJECTIFY:
  Your children are separate entities with their own individuality. However much you love or adore them, they are not objects or pets to be owned. Respect their unique identity in every dealing with them.
Remember Khalil Gibran’s beautiful lines in this regard.
“They come through you and not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
·       DO NOT SNOOP:
This is a tricky one because parents are sorely tempted to pry secretly into their teen’s affairs, often with compelling reasons to do so. But it could be disastrous for the relationship and for the teen’s trust in you. If there are unavoidable reasons- like the teenager is likely to land in trouble- then do so with great discretion.
·       BEAT NOT YOUR OWN DRUMS:
In desperate moments, when the teen is perceived to be ‘ungrateful’ it is quite understandable for the harried parent to reel off what all have been done for the ungrateful fellow!
NEVER DO THIS!
In the first place, your intelligent teenager knows as well as you do, that it is your bounden duty as a parent to do all those great things. Secondly, constantly thrusting this home might end up making him or her more resentful.
·       NEVER DO EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL:
I would rate this as the single most dangerous pothole, of the four in this article. Trying to get them to do things...for my sake…if you love me…blah blah blah may indeed serve the immediate objective if done efficiently, but may alienate the teenager with equal efficiency.
Obviously these are not the only factors in this valuable but ‘thin ice’ relationship.
 Nevertheless, they too are important too, aren’t they?

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LINGUA-WOES

A Tamil gentleman nearly got clobbered when he appreciated the food served for lunch at his Telugu friend’s place.

The poor guy innocently said ‘Pramadham’ which means ‘Excellent’ in Tamil, but unfortunately means ‘Danger’ in Telugu!

‘Tamasha’ means ‘light stuff’, ‘Comedy’ etc in Malayalam, but beware if you use it flippantly with the Hindi speaking people.

Indiscreet use of this word- which means a street dance or something in Hindi- is not received kindly by them.

The simple word ‘Avasar’- which also is a Sanskrit root word- means ‘Occasion’ in Hindi; ‘Avasaram’ means ‘Requirement’ in Telugu; ‘Opportunity’ in Malayalam and ‘Hurry’ in Tamil!

There must of course be several such examples in the various languages ‘spooken’ in our delightful India.




RIGHT WRONG

Seeing her eyes glow in excitement,
Obviously though she has it all wrong,
I rush to grab the correction opportunity,

Till I have another look at the gleam in her eyes.

Hell, I think, let me be wrong a hundred times over,
If only to preserve that glorious joy,

Rather than prove her wrong
And watch her enthusiasm wither.

THULABARAM

There is, in the Lord's Abode in Guruvayoor,
A common balance for weighment of offerings.

It's called Thulabaram.

Only, it is anything but common.

A priest there is entrusted the task
Of weighing the offerings you committed
To Lord Krishna.

It may be a few kilos of some vegetable
Or fruit, grains or sugar or what you will.


But it got to be necessarily what you committed!

For,

Have seen with my own eyes
The priest struggling to weigh
A couple of kilos or maybe three
Of a certain vegetable, think it was yam.

But it simply wouldn't balance, though he
Kept on heaping the yam on it!

Then, on the priest's asking,
The devotee said he had thought
Of a different vegetable, maybe raw banana,

But had settled for yam since he couldn't
Get the banana.

The priest quickly removed the yam
Asked the devotee to be back
With the vegetable committed!

Only then, the priest said with conviction,

The weighment would happen.